"Anlli llanchu, cochi wato" and other useless Quechua phrases learned on the Inca Trail

Anlli llanchu, cochi wato. That's how you say, "What's up, player/ladies' man/mujeriego" in Quechuan, the endemic language of Peru and principal tongue of the Incas. Why do I know this? Well, in my quest to become a polyglot, I figured French, Italian, Portuguese and Romanian were far too logical follow-up idioms to Spanish...and decided to pester the Inca Trail guide and porters for useless Quechuan phrases. Our cook happened to be bragging about the 3 ex girlfriends he had recently separated with (a result of the young ladies having met one another), and our female guide was teasing him for being a cochi wato. So good, I have a basic greeting and an insult/compliment down. That should only leave about a billion Quechuan words to go.

Met up with old HS friend Tess, suffering a bad case of Boston-induced cabin fever to hike the 4-day/3-night Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. Spent a couple of days in Cuzco chewing on llama meat, getting used to the elevation and temperature change, and deliberating ordering the local delicacy, guinea pig. Never managed to get around to it, mostly because I have a moral and budgetary objection to spending $30 to eat a giant rat. That's right. I've started having morals. Call Guinness.

Wandered around the streets of Cuzco, staring at the 15th century stonework that still baffles anyone who has bothered to ponder what the Incas were all about. I'll tell you what they were all about: rocks. I'm not sure if it was Manco Inca or Ayatullah Inca or Pachacutec or any of the other billion names I came across, but someone at some point had to have said "Friends, Incans, Countrymen, WE are going to be all about ROCKS." I imagine one guy in the background holding a hammer, nails and wood, waving his arms frantically in the air saying "I've got an idea!" I bet he was sacrificed. Probably with a rock.

After spinning around a half dozen museums of mummified bodies, intentional skull deformations and surgeries, arrowheads and the lot, I hope I've retained any information about these people. Upon finishing 4 days of slogging through the Andean wilderness with jowls packed with coca leaves, Machu Picchu was, as expected, phenomenal...and I only had to spend like 15 minutes chasing a llama around to get the picture you see above. The one I took of the llama, not the one the llama took of me.

I have some doubts about the "history" presented to us on the tour. Seems like a lot of theories which are rigidly presented as fact about customs, none of which seem firmly set in *cough* stone. At any rate, witnessing the spectacle of Machu Picchu does provoke a lot of ideas that contrast nicely with post Peace Corps service, namely why the hell I had to pull teeth with rural people in 2007 to build simple water systems, and yet these people were able to build enormous cities 500 years ago, complete with water systems, and still no one is really sure how they even broke the rocks.

I was also significantly impressed with the mail system that brought fresh fish from the sea daily to the king, and could supposedly get a message from Cuzco to Quito, Ecuador in 5 days using runners in 2 km intervals. The same trip took me 36 consecutive hours on a bus and a 1 hour flight.

The Spaniards were never able to discover Machu Picchu, leaving many questions as to its relevance and final days. The bridge you see along the edge of the cliff is postulated to be the escape route from the holy city of Machu Picchu. It disappears into the wilderness on the edge of a cliff giving some mystery to where the final Incas to leave Machu Picchu may have gone.

The Andean wilderness is still being uncovered, revealing Incan ruins. If anyone wants to finance a quest over the next few mountain ranges to find the next set of ruins, I happen to be looking for a job.